(Today) i needed a hug.not for the sake of hugging, but because of a hard day .i saved a life today.and because i am not feeling well.a caring-curing hug. a wordless pair of arms.and you weren’t there.of course, as you said, i needed a boyfriend, not a lover.boyfriends hug, lovers fuck.completely different struck me,like a revelation.there are days when even the strongest one softens,days when things go wrong,when one is suffocating.the very thought of the other missing,the distance, the jealousy,the pain paralyzes the mind,squeezes the lungs until there is no air left in them.needs the right pair of arms, the right shoulder and the right chest.somebody who doesn’t mind getting a wet shirt, and who’s not afraid of holding.who doesn’t mind getting and giving, as he/she wants to get and give.someone who REALLY needs somebody.but needing somebody is a weakness and we shouldn’t attach to objects, or people, unless we want the inevitable sadness of loss.So if you want to be well, DON’T FEEL.don’t get attached to anybody.ever.too much risk.and zero chance of coming out of it alive.


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