How this naive blogger wrote 15 years ago…..


“I don’t know how others are”, in the words of a famous Romanian writer, but when I look around and see what happens around , I just feel my blood boiling in my veins. Unequality, injustice, continuous labeling of the individuals and animosity are what characterizes our lives nowadays,Today, more than ever,  the law of the jungle rules over people, the „kill or be killed” motto.It is no wonder that the pressure of society, the continuous demands have serious effects on people’s personality either by making them tough up to cruelty, proud to be the point of insolence, or by causing in them a painful withdrawal from life and society, a self-imposed seclusion in the protecting borders of one’s own self.

This latter effect is what psychologists call an inferiority complex.Some treat it as if it were an illness, others see it as a problem of attitude.But all agree on one aspect: that it happens on a psychological level, so it is a very complex issue, with even more complex possibilities of answer.The main line of the situation is that the person with a complex of inferiority always compares himself /herself with others and always gets to the same conclusion: that others are better, superior to him/her. So they feel small and insignificant amongst others, and this sensation of being a nobody is a continuous drawback in their everyday life. It makes them extremely shy, nervous, afraid of a verbal or physical contact with others, silent and isolated in conversations, vacillating in actions.Every move they make is an attempt to prove that they do belong to a community.In reality, socializing is the most feared and hated event in their lives, preferring to raise a barrier from the outside world that proved to be aggressive.Every mistake, real or imaginary is lifted to the degree of a calamity , because hyperbola is a basic procedure in their minds.Failures are hyperbolised, successes minimalised, as the central idea of their thinking is that they never were, never are and never will be at the level of the others .A perpetual desire to integrate remains always a desire, never fulfilled in actions, because of considering themselves incapable of doing it, inferior in thinking, action, behaviour, even in the matter of material possessions, fashion trends or family. They are ashamed of what they are, embarrassed of their status and convinced that everybody laughs out, if not in the face, then behind  their backs.

In most of the cases, this incapability of integrating mingles with great emotional instability.People with an inferiority complex have an almost perfect sense of self-control, because they hide what they really feel and try to copy others, who are successful and accepted, highly considered in the community.This makes them suppress emotions and generates a great pressure on the inner self, that is on the verge to be anihilated.Sometimes, the repressed emotions burst out with the power of volcanoes, in a sort of twilit sleep.Outbursts of this kind usually alternate with periods of depression, in which they doubt even the use of their experience.Unfortunately, sometimes such a state of depression ends tragically for some ,while the „lucky” ones find the strength to go on with their lives, as they did before.But to get rid of such an inferiority complex takes a force within themselves as few have.It involves a courage out of the ordinary to reach out from the shell built for protection, to leave the ivory castle of their dreamworld, because that’s where they truly live.They live a double life: one in the outside world where they are shy, isolated and timorated, and another one in a fantasy world of their own, where their dreams and aspirations are possible, and every failure from the outside turns into success.So to escape from this complex implies a difficult transition from a set of values to another.It would bring changes on multiple levels – and such a shift indeed seems insurmontable.But it only seems, because it is possible, even though for few and through a very difficult process of abandoning the old way of living and turning over a new leaf in their lives.And it can happen only with a help from the outside, with a shoulder to lean on when necessary.

The problem of such a „healing” process also raises the questions of who is to blame for it.Because if you want to eradicate something, you have to do it by the books and start with finding the root.I am not a doctor, nor any kind of expert in the domain but I truly believe that the blame is on society.I accept that it has very much to do with the types of personality but to a less degree than the influence of society on individuals.The incredible rush of life, the terrible competition for being the best, the almost absurd demands, always for more and more, are in my opinion responsible for the feeling of insignificance and insecurity, of vulnerability and loneliness that a human being – every human being – feels in the course of his life.Living and working under pressure has the positive effect of making a person ambitious and compatible, but when exagerated, it anihilates.As everything else in life, it should be kept always in balance and under control.People are by nature sociable, and they crave for the company for others, for belonging somewhere.Society must cherish its individuals and support them, because otherwise, by taking away dignity, confidence, sense of self-security, it will backfire, like sending a beam of light into a mirror,and will disintegrate society itself.Society is like a building in which the individuals are the bricks, that give stability.By weakening one brick, or more, the building itself is weakened, becomes vulnerable.It depends on us, whether we choose vulnerability or strength.It is entirely our choice.


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